What I know about love so far

This blog post is one that I did not really want to write, but I after so many people begged me to write about this I will.  My closest friends say that people need to hear about my journey, because it will help them in some way.  I do not know why they think that I am a expert or have something to share, but here it goes.  Love is always such a touchy subject.  Especially romantic love.  As I’ve stated in a previous post I can only say that I have been truly in love with one person.  There’s a difference between loving someone and truly being in love.  If someone is nice to you and treats you well, and certain circumstances cause them to be positively in your space you can find yourself “loving” them.  Often times I think that we are more in love with the idea of love than actually in love. I am the type of person that is all about being independent and focusing on my own needs.  I never allowed myself to get too attached to anyone, because I never really truly felt that connection.  I would go out on dates, and have the customary “date” talks with my friends.  My friends would say “What’s wrong”, “He’s a great guy” or “He’s nice”, or “He has money”.  My friends would always say that I have the ability to meet great guys and I was always throwing them back.  What was wrong was that they were not “him”.  If you have a “him” in your life then you know exactly what I mean. I had the unique experience of falling in love very early in life. My freshman year in college to be exact.  It was a fun experimental time in life, and “him” and I enjoyed life together.  There was always this great connection, and it felt special and never got old.  We broke up for silly reasons and lived our lives without speaking for many years.  However, we never forgot each other. I would always wonder where he was in the world, and what he was doing. He’s my “Notebook” guy.  He is the person that knows me for who I am and I know him for who he is.  We are both perfectly imperfect together.  We are back together again after over 15 years and its exactly the same.  Real love never ends and it does not fail. (trust me that’s a lot for me to say because mushy is not really my thing)  We are totally different people now but its the same.  I met my match so long ago and since that day life was never destined to be the same.  We match in funny ways like things we like to do, and like to eat, and its amazing, because we spent so much time apart.  I know that our connection is real, because I have experienced connections that were not.  Here are some of the signs that it’s true love.

  1. He/She is not perfect and its ok- Being in love does not mean that the person is perfect.  It just means that they are perfect for you.  When you are with a person that you do not truly love every thing that they do annoys you.  The reason that it annoys you so much is because they are not truly the one. You just don’t want to be in their space.
  2. You can travel together- If you want to know if it’s real take a trip.  If you just cannot wait to get home it is not the real thing.  Travel should enhance a relationship not tear it down.
  3. You share some common interests- “Him” and I enjoy helping people and we both participate in community service activities.  If you and the person that you are with share no common interests you may have to question why you are together.
  4. You are excited to see each other- If this person is the one there is no one else that you would rather be with.  You should be excited when you see them, and get to do activities together.  When I do activities alone or with some friends I always wonder how much more fun it would be if we did it together.
  5. You see the good in them no matter what- The bible verse that I put at the top of this blog posts states that “Love hides a multitude of sins”.  This is so very true.  Even when bad characteristics are displayed you can overlook them/deal with them, because the love is there.
  6.  You make an effort- Effort is so important in a relationship.  If you are willing to go above and beyond and inconvenience yourself then the love is real.  When you are in a relationship with someone who is not well suited for you,  you do not make the effort.  If something is difficult or takes up too much of your time you just don’t do it.

This is a short list of characteristics of the one that is well suited for you.  Often times we settle for someone who is just “good enough” or that looks good on paper.  Those types of loves do not last, because they are not based on a connection or a strong foundation.  I always use to make my own decisions when it came to dating, but now I realize that it is all about God’s plan and his timing. Think about the current relationships that you are in.  Is it fruitful? Is he or she the perfectly imperfect person for you?