Throughout this venture into blogging I have noticed that there are people with many needs. Every time I write a post I have people reaching out to me asking me to write posts on different subject matters, because they feel that they “need” to hear a perspective. While having an early dinner/ Happy Hour with a great friend yesterday I decided that this was a post that needed to be written. We were discussing our lives. She has been married and divorced and re-married and I am single and have never been married. She discussed the mistakes that a lot of women in their 30’s make when it comes to relationships.
I decided that a love note needed to be written to all the women in their 30’s that have never been married, and are considering marriage or are considering just being single and pursuing other life adventures.
First of all I love you. I love each and everyone of you, because I am you, and I love myself quite a bit. You are beautifully and wonderfully made, unique and different, and just plain awesome! Whether you have a boyfriend, or friend who tells you that it does not matter. I am telling you this, because it is so very true.
You are probably wondering what I have to say that hasn’t already been said about this subject matter. As with all of my posts my aim is to be honest and try to give a perspective that is different. Here are some of the things that I have discovered while on my journey.
- You know who you are- When you are single you have time to truly come into your own, and know exactly who you are. In my 20’s I was a totally different person than I am today at 36. I know exactly who I am, what I want, and what I am going to take. I am unapologetic about being “Brandi”.
- You are probably quite accomplished- I have started a skin care business, pursued my education, travel extensively, and built some amazing friendships. I am also quite connected as a result. Having extra time to only focus on yourself you have the time and the resources to achieve great things.
- You have watched others failures in relationships and have learned from them- I am a person that has a lot of friends, and quite a diverse group I might add. My friends are different ages, and come from different backgrounds. Many of my friends are divorced and on their second marriage. What they have taught me is that you have to literally marry your best friend, and passion and is important. When you do enter into a marriage you may have a better shot, because you have had the time and opportunity to learn from others.
- Forget that silly biological clock- I would like to be a mother to a biological child one day, but trust me life would still be quite complete if that never happened. I know people who have children and it is hard work, expensive, and it takes up a lot of your time. So many women spend so much time worried about being a mother that they forget that they are signing up for something that is quite difficult. When its time to be a mother you will. I know so many people who have given birth at 40+. Why worry about something that you have no real control over.
- Do not hop on the next train due to desperation- I talk to a lot of women who feel desperate due to society and pressure. Listen to me well, DO NOT MARRY MR. “GOOD ENOUGH”! Its just a recipe for disaster. Due to me being awesome (lol) I have had people want to marry me, and discussed marriage. Sometimes after just a few dates( that will be my next blog my love note to single, never been married men in their 30s.) which makes absolutely no sense. So many times I have talked to people who made a rash decision to marry someone just due to their so called advanced age. Again do not due this! Wouldn’t you much rather marry someone who is well suited for you at 40 than marry someone at 35 that isn’t and end up divorced by 40?
Always remember that you are awesome and deserve an awesome life and someone awesome to share it with. Learn from the mistakes of others, and make the best decisions. This is your life we are talking about!